TOHMNOT (This One Has My Name On It): the coin that saved christmas

Welcome to part two of TOHMNOT. I wasn't intending to do a post-Christmas episode, but a gift I received proved pretty darn relevant to the topic at hand.

This Christmas, I received a gift from my sister's boyfriend's parents. The Grave family over the past year have become a real part of my family in many ways.

They wanted to contribute to my mission, and the succeeded in a very poetic way. What you see to the left is a Roman coin, struck in the first century, with Caesar's face clearly visible. He said it was to remind me of Luke 20, where Jesus is asked about paying taxes. While it's technically not a denarius, I was almost brought to tears by the gesture. This coin holds a lot of meaning for me now. They are the handle-bars I've been praying for.
Not to mention a sweet visual aid!

This is it for this installment of TOHMNOT.

[19] The scribes and the chief priests sought to lay hands on him at that very hour, for they perceived that he had told this parable against them, but they feared the people. [20] So they watched him and sent spies, who pretended to be sincere, that they might catch him in something he said, so as to deliver him up to the authority and jurisdiction of the governor. [21] So they asked him, “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach rightly, and show no partiality,[f1] but truly teach the way of God. [22] Is it lawful for us to give tribute to Caesar, or not?” [23] But he perceived their craftiness, and said to them, [24] “Show me a denarius.[f2] Whose likeness and inscription does it have?” They said, “Caesar's.” [25] He said to them, “Then render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's.” [26] And they were not able in the presence of the people to catch him in what he said, but marveling at his answer they became silent.

(Luke 20:19-26 ESV)

======================================================= 
[1] 20:21 Greek and do not receive a face
[2] 20:24 A denarius was a day's wage for a laborer 

This one has my name on it. Part1

So I have these friends. These are all people I know from church. A lot of them are involved in various ministries that function in different capacities. What's so amazing is that all of them have surpassed me in these positions. Whether it be in worship arts, or mercy ministry ministries, to just plain leading. It's actually pretty amazing how in a relatively short amount of time I've known some of these people, they have doubled and tripled in their gifts and positions. I've been close enough to them in ministry to just see them wiz by with blinding speed. 

More than once I've seen myself try to catch up to any one of them, but ended up failing miserably. This happens for two reasons I think:

1. My calling has my name on it.

2. Being great means letting the faster car pass you.

It's really easy to get side tracked by attractive and good-looking callings and offices that the people you know get offered. That is at least what I have noticed retrospectively in my life in ministry, and in general.

It might be why I'm so hesitant about this thing that I'm doing.
That's why I'm deciding to change the language I use when talking about New Zealand. I'm not going on a mission, I'm moving to New Zealand on mission. I'm going to be there for two years, and I think that might be just enough into the long-term territory to say that.
I'm also reminding my soul that this isn't a short-term thing. This isn't going to be anything like a weekend trip to Mexico to build houses.

(Not implying anything about weekend missions, all I'm saying is that it's not moving to another country on mission.)


Okay, well those are my thoughts for the day. Part 2 coming soon.

If you believe in what God is doing, what God is doing/going to do in/through me there; please take it into prayer and consideration to give to the mission.

Info on how to give is in the upper right corner.

Many blessings and Merry Christmas to all!

Well this is awkward..

So lately I've been going to a yoga studio to help her clean it up. She gets free yoga classes if she cleans the studio up once a week and I get to help her. Last night when I went with her there were like 8 people standing around talking.

I walked in, and it was kinda awkward. I'm just this guy that is helping his mom squeegee mirrors so she can get free yoga... don't mind me.

Also, me not updating for a few months and then picking it up again is just as awkward. I was house sitting for a month and a half, and I got caught up with work and fundraising.

But now I'm back!

God's pulled in about 100 more bucks to the NZ fund, but I had to take out 200 to to passport processing. So as you can imagine it's been a little frustrating.

Never the less I keep pressing forward. My best pall Caleb has recently volunteered helping me organize some more fundraising schemes and plans. So be on the look out (all 3 of you that read this) on ways you can help.

For now signing off, but I plan on putting up a real post in the next day or so.

12.2 Percent!

I am officially 12.2 percent of the way in my fundraising goal for my mission to New Zealand!

That is $305 down, $2195 left. Although that may not seem like a big dent to you, it means a lot to me. It means that at least three people are invested in my mission and training in New Zealand.
Thank all of you who have given so far and pray that more comes in.

So again, here is my yearly budget for New Zealand, so you can see what I need and what I need it for.

Here is the blog post that tells you the details  of what I'm doing.


Giving instructions in the upper right corner of the blog.

Why I Think you Should Help Me

A lot of younger missionaries just starting out (like me) struggle a lot with getting supporters behind them for two reasons;

1. For lack of information

and

2. For lack of asking

It's some times hard to get the word out to people about what you're doing. Just saying that you are going to the other side the planet on mission isn't enough most of the time. Everything I've learned about raising support says that letting people know what you are doing, why you are doing it, and how it is going to be accomplished is important. People aren't going to give you money if they don't know what you are going to do with it, or why.

If you aren't careful, they just might get that exact impression; that it's you who is receiving it.

The asking part is something I still struggle with some times. At the first knee-jerk, I think asking for other people's money is almost sleazy. I get flashes of TV preachers in your head. I feel like it's asking people to pity me because I either didn't have the foresight or ability to put away money for what ever it is I'm doing. 

But if you ask that question you have to bring into view the validity of what you are doing. Is your going to tell people about Jesus worth giving to? 

Yes, I think it is.

So, Here is my yearly budget for New Zealand, so you can see what I need and what I need it for.

Here is my blog post that tells you what I'm doing.

And for directions on electronic giving, look at the upper right corner of my front page.

So pray about it.
Think about it.
Let me know if you want to go on this thing with me.

Encouragers

When last I spoke to Jeff Kreiser, the missions pastor at my home church and a personal mentor, I was taken aback. I forget that every time he speaks to me it's almost like he's not speaking to me now. It's like he's speaking to me at my best, like that is what he sees instead of this transitional state I'm in right now.


It's hard to have a sit-down conversation with him, so I walked with him around the church after the last Saturday service of the last weekend of the Mission's emphasis month. He's super busy all the time, if you know of him, I would highly suggest trying to pencil in a cup of coffee with this guy. He's a 6'5" and 200 pounds (?) of Jesus-loves-you furry.

It wasn't anything in particular that he said, but in the way he just spoke with me, then and every other time I can remember. He has confidence that I am called to ministry. He has confidence that I'm worth investing thousands of dollars in for that goal.

You know what it feels like to have some one you view as a mentor tell you that you are worth thousands of dollars? It has a funny effect.

It actually makes you feel valuable. 


I was listening to Wayne Grudem's podcast lecturing through his Systematic Theology. This week is part of going through the incommunicable attribtes of God, that is, the character of God that is unlike us. In particular he defined God's aseity (from the Latin words a se, which means "from himself"): "God does not need us or the rest of creation for anything, yet we and the rest of creation can glorify him and bring him joy." [Systematic theology pg. 160] 

This doctrine has a powerful effect on me. It means God does not need me, but chooses to give me substance and value as a creation. That and many more times over in the fact that the Son died for me.

Jeff is just one person that demonstrates this doctrine to me on a regular basis lately. People like my sister and dear friend Caleb demonstrate it too much to really account for. It makes me feel like I can do anything. It gives me so much more millage than guilt will ever do. For me, holy spurs only work to one end; to identify sin and how crappy I'm doing. People demonstrating this God-like activity of voluntary value attribution has helped me on the road to recovery more than anything else as of late.

Feel free to comment or tell me what you think in the comments below.

If you feel led to help me on my mission to New Zealand info on how to give is in the upper right corner of the page.

Thanks for reading.

If you're interested in being a partner with me in mission, you can give through my church's website with directions in the upper right corner.

What this thing is about.

So about the name of this blog; "Transitions in Missions", might need some explaining.


I would consider myself a missionary. If I had to honestly describe myself in a professional manner, in terms of over-all focus of my short adult life, and in my foreseeable future; I'm a missionary.

But over the past few years of my life I've been in a sort of intermediate stage. Right from the start out of high school, I was traveling and being trained all over the world and at my home church. I was one of those kids that was (at least partly) groomed for missions from a relatively young age, and for two years I was going here and there learning and practicing for what a missionary does for the rest of their life. I got pretty used to the idea of actually doing that kind of thing... as like, a lifestyle.

My last station lasted the better part of a year in Taiwan, and coming home I was thinking "I'm probably going to make the rounds, raise support, and be back in Taiwan or wherever God wants me to be in about six months, or year at the most. Like a BOSS."

...That was back in December of '08.
Since then I've had to actually live like the rest of you normal people, and I found out the harsh, harsh reality.

Actually having to find (and keep)a job is harder than I thought.

Paying bills is harder than I thought.

Being like Jesus when you're not in a holiness pressure cooker is harder than I thought.

Finding Jesus in a Joe-job is harder than I thought.

The real world, for all intensive purposes, is hard. I'm not saying it's harder or less-hard than washing and feeding street kids or praying for lepers in India, it's just different. I'm also not saying that "living by faith" is less hard than actually having to feed yourself, it's just different. Neither is studying the entirety of the bible in nine months producing over a thousand pages of charts, countless pages of notes, that make up around sixty hour work weeks.


I should know. I have actually done all of those things. Now, I'm not trying to make myself out to be some spiritual giant (which I am not, and I cannot emphasize these italicized letters enough. Maybe if I bold and italicize. I am not a spiritual guru.)
 
I wasn't as enlightened back in '08, coming off of a huge spiritual high and two years of overseas training in a spiritual pressure-cooker. I thought being a missionary for Jesus (in a purely professional sense) was the hardest thing you could do for Jesus, especially if there was a possibility of martyrdom or torture. With that last part aside, I was wrong.

I fell flat on my face, like a pro. The first real job I got was buss-boy for a restaurant about two blocks from my dad's apartment (which is where I was living at the time, rent free) that had a giant lumber-jack in the front. That lasted about 2 months. I was terminated because I was constantly late for work.

I'm weird. Normal people usually do this backwards. You learn how to support yourself, hold down a job, pay bills, or whatever. Then transitioning into trusting God for the money to feed yourself (let alone your family), being able to fit all your worldly possessions into two suitcases, and learning a foreign culture and language. All that takes some doing for a normal person. All of that, I feel I could probably do at the drop
of a hat if I really wanted. I just goes to show that one isn't necessarily a perquisite for learning an other.

Underneath all this was some pretty bad heart issues. I was arrogant, and I was holding my ministry position as an idol in my heart. A big fat golden calf with MISSIONARY scrawled on the side of it was planted firmly in my heart, and it took God three painful years to burn it, grind it into dust, cast it into the water, and make me drink it.
(Nerdy bible reference from Exodus 32:20)
Ministry doors were slammed in my face, left and right until I started to yield. One staff position in particular was denied me three days before I was supposed to leave, ticket in hand. I was so devastated I didn't even bother to redeem the ticket.

I was depressed and hopeless for a couple years on and off. I struggled with issues of self worth and my own usefulness in ministry. I asked myself on a daily basis if I was actually worth anything in the real world, or if I was worth anything at all.

Now here I am, on the other side of at least one of the mountains I know I'll have to face. Through some amazing people, good books, the Word of God, and a little fasting and prayer, God is well on his way to filling up the spot in my heart that he tore that idol out of. And he has blessed me with the opportunity to go back into the field to complete my training and get involved in some awesome strategic missions work in New Zealand of all places. Awesome, right?

And all the while, God was using the gifts and passions in me to minister and bless people without me even knowing. Actually getting that point is a key in my rehabilitation as a recovering idolater. God's blessed me with gifts that I don't even know half the time that I'm using.

Once I was removed from the great and revered office of missionary for a while, God showed me practically that the office doesn't matter as much as the gifts flowing through a right heart. God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble, and I was proud.


Thanks to both of you for reading. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think. Similar experiences?


Continue to pray for me as I gear up for January. I got my first donation from a good friend named Josh for 200 bucks towards New Zealand. That's only 2,300 to go until I can buy my ticket. If you feel led to be partners with me in missions, look at the upper right corner of the blog.


Peace

I am officially asking for money

Many of you have heard that I recently got an internship with ISMNZ In New Zealand. This is going to be at least a two year commitment starting this year in January to be trained and to serve in a full time ministry position. I am super excited to tell you all about my new upcoming adventure with Jesus, but before I get ahead of myself let me tell you about the organization I'll be working with.

ISMNZ (International Student Missions, New Zealand) Is an organization that ministers to and trains international students for the progress of the gospel. New Zealand has a proportionately large foreign student population because it's both close to Asia/S.E. Asia, and easier to get into for studying English (since 9/11 and other attacks) than the US and UK. They use this as a strategic place to spread the gospel. It works like this: Students from Japan or China hear the gospel while they are going to school, then they get saved and take it with them home to their friends, family, and influential places of business and culture in their home countries!

This will be a full time cross-cultural and multi-cultural missions assignment and training. I'll also be taking block courses at Pathways Bible College as a part of the internship program (which is fully accredited). The beauty of that is that I will qualify for a student visa, and this will allow me to cover most of my living expenses while there with work, but I will still need help accomplishing this goal.

Total cost per year according to my budget is around US $17,076 per year all together. The cost breakdown goes like this; $1,000-$2,000 for a plane ticket, training cost is $5,292, and cost of living is estimated at $11,786 per year. I was recently accepted as an official lakeside Term Partner, so my home church will be helping me out with the plane ticket and part of the tuition. $1000 a month total monthly living costs will be the only immediate need for support, and that can definitely be padded with a job once I get all settled in country. 

The ministry and school schedule will allow for 20 hours a week for work, but I will need people to come along side me, and invest in the work God is doing in and through me as partners to accomplish this goal. So I'm asking you to prayerfully consider becoming a partner with me as a new chapter opens in ministry, both in prayer and in monetary giving. If you believe in what I'm doing, I would love and appreciate either one. With this should be a full budget breakdown.

If you are interested in giving look at the upper right corner of this page. You will see instructions and a link to click on. Thank you for prayerfully considering supporting me and the work I'll be doing while I'm over on the other side of the world. and want to be on my official mailing list please reply or send me an email at the address below.

Sincerely,

Joshua Kling.

Email: klingbot@gmail.com

problems

I have problems. Problems that cause me to doubt my own character a little more (on occasion) than my problems may cause others to doubt it. It's funny how that can work sometimes. This causes me to think that this is a problem in itself.

I'm working on it though.

Of course remembering to also work on the problems that cause other problems would be a good idea, wouldn't it? Then the problem of thinking you're useless wouldn't be such a problem in the first place, or would it?

But, I think, there is at least some progress being made. That is, I know that I have problems, so the next step would be; exactly how to approach solving the problem of having a problem.

I kill myself probably more than I deserve for the things I do.

I have to remember that Jesus was killed for my sake. Who am I to try to add onto what Jesus fully accomplished?

This is a crapy place to be right now for me though. Since coming out of a bit of depression, I am having a bit of trouble cleaning up the mess i made while I didnt care about anything.

Its like waking up to a horrible mess. The worst part is that when im done cleaning up, im basically going to have to start from square one. But thats not a bad as you might think. Im coming out of it just a tiny bit more wise than i was going into this mess i made for myself. I just need to stop feeling bad about it and start cleanig.

Transition transitions

So as my date of departure nears I plan on being a lot more frequent in my updates. I'm saying this before my official mailing list goes out and you might even be reading this as an archived post, but I don't really care. I need to get into the rhythm of updating and keeping chronicles.

I moved to Napa this week. Because of living situation issues I had to leave my former residence, but the plus side is that I get to spend time with family a lot more before I go on my longest term mission assignment ever.

The obvious minus is leaving my church family in Folsom. Lord willing I'll be able to make it once a month to fulfill my commitment to be on the worship core team I'm a part of over there, but even with that in mind, I had trouble holding back tears the whole last weekend.

My whole stay over the past 2-and-some-odd years has been a huge blessing. I can't really begin to say what I've learned the whole time, so I'll sum up some major points.

--> It's God's mission and career, not mine.
--> God is my sufficiency in lack.
--> Worship and the action are two different things.

That last one I learned in my last week of official residency of the Folsom area. Our church had a youth worship workshop for 3 days. My friend Katrina was teaching Bass in worship class, and I was sitting in on it. I used an illustration with Hosea 6:6 as a proof.

"For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings."

This is pertinent to any good musicianship in a worship setting. Although you want to shoot for excellence, the heart behind what you are doing is completely different from the action. The knowledge of God and steadfast love are different from sacrifice and burnt offerings. For the original hearers of that word, sacrifice was the mode of worship. You could bring the fattest calf, or the purest bull, but if there is no steadfast love behind what you're doing, it's all for naught.

Fast forward to the last session of the week. Gabe (the worship director at my church) ends the worship session with a word about the inner critic. How a voice of condemnation or criticism is the only thing that keeps you from worshiping God fully. Then everything clicked. The general thrust of the whole week, my illustration in Katrina's class, Gabe's word about the inner critic.. it made sense. It was a big revelation that I thank God for over and over. I can see and feel it's affect in my life in so many areas.

It was a good not to kinda end on.

Guilt?

Does anyone know why it's so awkward? Not just I general but on buses and trains especially. Crowded ones. 


You and an other able-bodied person are sitting on a seat because it's crowded. And let's say a pregnant woman comes along. You don't see the woman but the other able- bodied person does and graciously gives up their seat. I was totally in that situation recently and I felt guilty because I was too busy playing with my iPhone to notice someone who needed the seat! Is that wrong? 


Is it wrong that I thought that I was wrong for not being someone who did the good thing first? Okay now that I have it typed out it seems kinda silly, but not at the moment! 


Especially as a Christian trying to do the whole gospel thing. Why do I think being socially awkward is a sin? I'm supposed to be courageous and joyful and daring for Jesus, but God still uses awkward people and situations.


I think Guilt is a much bigger deal some times than vaguely missed opportunities

The Chronicle's Prelude Begins.

So if I know you, I have probably told you about my acceptance to the ISM's Ministry Internship program in New Zealand. Here's a link to further explain what the program is. If you are too lazy to click on the link, all you need to know is that its hands ministry experience along with block courses at Pathways Bible and Mission College. You have to click on that one if you want to know what it's about.
ISM mostly ministers to the huge international student population in NZ, I'll specifically be doing this in Hamilton. I'll be leaving in February of next year, so it leaves plenty of time to gather resources and funds for the trip. If you're interested in helping out, stay tuned. A budget is being worked on right now and I'll let you guys know the exact needs and ways to give and pray.
Although I'm excited to be getting back into the field and finishing up my training as a minister (what ever that entails), I've grown so attached to the community at Lakeside, my home church it's going to be really tough leaving. I'm being blessed continually by everyone here, and I won't be able to leave without leaving a part of my heart behind in wholesome Folsom. But way I can take a part of your heart with me is through partnering with me in ministry. It would mean many awesome things to have you with me in spirit as I go do the work God has for me in NZ.
Robert Frost is my favorite poet. Although I don't read a bunch of different authors, I do have a really old paperback of a collection of his poems my sister gave me before I left on the plane to Taiwan in 2008. The Tuft of Flowers almost brought me to tears as I read it on the plane, and gave me a lot to think about. Here it is for you guys:

The Tuft of Flowers

  By Robert Frost

I went to turn the grass once after one
Who mowed it in the dew before the sun.
The dew was gone that made his blade so keen
Before I came to view the leveled scene.
I looked for him behind an isle of trees;	5
I listened for his whetstone on the breeze.
But he had gone his way, the grass all mown,
And I must be, as he had been,—alone,
‘As all must be,’ I said within my heart,
‘Whether they work together or apart.’	10
But as I said it, swift there passed me by
On noiseless wing a ’wildered butterfly,
Seeking with memories grown dim o’er night
Some resting flower of yesterday’s delight.
And once I marked his flight go round and round,	15
As where some flower lay withering on the ground.
And then he flew as far as eye could see,
And then on tremulous wing came back to me.
I thought of questions that have no reply,
And would have turned to toss the grass to dry;	20
But he turned first, and led my eye to look
At a tall tuft of flowers beside a brook,
A leaping tongue of bloom the scythe had spared
Beside a reedy brook the scythe had bared.
I left my place to know them by their name,	25
Finding them butterfly weed when I came.
The mower in the dew had loved them thus,
By leaving them to flourish, not for us,
Nor yet to draw one thought of ours to him.
But from sheer morning gladness at the brim.	30
The butterfly and I had lit upon,
Nevertheless, a message from the dawn,
That made me hear the wakening birds around,
And hear his long scythe whispering to the ground,
And feel a spirit kindred to my own;	35
So that henceforth I worked no more alone;
But glad with him, I worked as with his aid,
And weary, sought at noon with him the shade;
And dreaming, as it were, held brotherly speech
With one whose thought I had not hoped to reach.	40
‘Men work together,’ I told him from the heart,
‘Whether they work together or apart.’