Frustrations and Fruitions

   I realize that leaving you guys depressed from my last post was probably a mean thing to do. I am not completely down in the dumps, but I am still struggling with some culture shock. So for today's update I will give you _ reasons why I'm frustrated with kiwi culture, Ministry updates, and school progress.

Reason 1: Bare feet.

   This first reason isn't as much of a frustration as it is a curiosity. People don't always wear shoes. I brush it off half the time as "it's cultural" in my head, but I really don't get why you see people all the time walking around with no shoes on. It really confuses me. This is a developed nation, footwear is relatively inexpensive, you can avoid all sorts of nasty injuries and parasites just by wearing a pair of simple sandals on your feet. But to people here listen to reason? Not all of the time. 

Reason 2: Assumptions.
   This is a big one. People often times assume that you are on the same page as everyone, even though you may have just walked in through the door, know basically no-one, and understand about half of the funny kiwi-speak they are using (the accent). For example; I just got a call from my new boss, letting me know that my new co-workers are not okay with me changing around the way they do things. Fair enough, but the thing is no one told me anything about any particular way of doing anything. So I'm left feeling like a big American oaf who arrogantly thinks his way of doing things is the best. Here I go reinforcing negative stereotypes about my fellow countrymen abroad. Sorry guys!

Reason 3: ♪Getting to know... some people ♪ 

   People here are, on the whole, hard to get to know. They are very friendly and cordial up-front, but there is this wall that you hit with a lot of people. Trying to cross over from "new guy" to "friend" is like trying to jump the grand canyon with a pogo-stick. Well maybe no that bad, but it's still pretty bad. I've been here maybe 4 months, and I have about 2 friends that I really see on at least a weekly basis, and half of them are non-nationals. 

Ok, that's enough of me complaining. Onward to the ministry updates.

When I last left you guys I felt discouraged, disoriented, and disheartened about my mission here. I may have been listening to too much of The Cure, because these past few weeks I have actually been building relationships with international students. The very ministry focus of ISM! Go figure!

This has really encouraged me when I realize that am actually doing one or two things that are on task.


Alright everyone, that's a blog.

P.S.: To any Kiwi's reading this update, not all of those complaints are intended to be 100% serious. I really do love all of you guys.

Peace!

The State of Things

   First of all, I apologize for keeping everyone in the dark for so long. I know all of you have invested in me in some form or an other, and not giving you a progress report is a little negligent on my part.

   Part of the reason why it's been hard to get an update out is because I was struggling on what to say.  I was trying to find a way of saying "things aren't going great" in a way that wouldn't make me look bad. While God has blessed me with more permanent housing, a one year visa that I can work on, and cool classmates and church support here, things have been more or less frustrating for me.

   For about the last month I've been depressed and frustrated. I've been struggling about what my exact purpose is here, and how to do whatever job I am here for. Add to that a little culture shock and some things I am actually seeing a counselor for, and the constant rain, and you have a sad Josh. Part of me was in denial that I am actually having a hard time melding into Kiwi culture. I thought:

"No way man! I've been to other places that are a lot more extreme, for a longer period than I've been here already, and still it took at least six months for me to get a little home sick!" 

   I actually didn't want to let any of you, my supporters, know that I'm seeing a counselor for personal reasons because it would make me look less like a holy cultural missionary than I wanted to look. Which is a stupid idea really, because I didn't budget for a counselor at all. 

   Visa stuff took longer (and more expensive-er) too, which threw my budget off even more, and now I have about 50 dollars in my bank account after paying rent this week. 

   Honestly the worst thing is being so far away from the church community that I grew to love so much more over the past three years. I loved you all so much, I would go to like 3 services a weekend some times just so I could say hello to more of you. 

   So now this is my repentance post for being a block-head and not letting you know how I was really doing. I hope all of you can find it in your hearts to see me as a human being. 

Yours truly,

   Joshua

Situating

   Hello all! This is going to be a formal update on what's going on in NZ. I'm also mentioning a few unexpected expenses that I would like your prayer in.

   Since finally arriving back in Hamilton, things have been somewhat slow. Most of what I need to get done is just waiting for processing, and waiting for potential flatmates to get back to me. But things are on the move. I found out last minute that I need a chest x-ray and a letter from the school I'm going to saying I can speak English. That last bit is a fomallity for all international students. A problem though is that the immigration medical stuff is $210 NZ that I wasn't expecting to spend.
   The housing search is going well. I think I have found a flat for a very reasonable rate, and the people I will be living with seem very laid back. It's a little out of the way, but I think I'll manage. The security is a little on the steep side. It's around $400 NZ plus the first week's rent ($95 NZ).
   If you guys could pray about that with me I would appreciate it.

I haven't really started ministry or school quite yet. All I'm doing is getting situated so far.

That's a blog, everyone. Peace.

Traveling

That was exhausting. I am about to continue on to my last destination in my tour of ISM's ministry and New Zealand as a whole. Hamilton is where my internship will be based. I'll make time in the next few day to do a big update to wrap up my introduction to NZ.

But now I must rest for the final portion of my journey.

Pray for rest..

So tired...

Much More

(Psalm 63 ESV) 

        [1] O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

[2] So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

beholding your power and glory.

[3] Because your steadfast love is better than life,

my lips will praise you.

[4] So I will bless you as long as I live;

in your name I will lift up my hands.

[5] My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

   David does some strange things with this psalm, this passage in particular. Not strange in the sense that they are unique, but this is strange to the natural line of thought you would usually take. David first makes note of his need for God, then in the next breath exults in God's goodness.
   This makes sense. "We need God, God is good, God is what we need, We worship God. What makes you scratch you're head a little is what comes after this:



[6] when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
[7] for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
[8] My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
(Psalm 63:6-8 ESV)


   David concludes that God is worthy of worship before God helps him. God's worth isn't even dependent on David's life (see v3)! So his worship couldn't be rooted in what God has done in the rest of the psalm. It only heaps glory on glory.

   By Himself, God is better than life before he gives it. How much more can we rejoice now that he saves?

That's a blog everyone. An update about my goings-on will be short in coming! Hope you enjoyed my senses on The Psalter.

Occultic Observations

   Today is a sick day, and it looks like tomorrow is going to be one too, and as usual when I'm sick I do a lot of reading and internet searching. I came upon videos talking about a guy named Alan John Miller. There are only two things you need to know about this guy:

1. He thinks he's Jesus

2. He's a pretty convincing person

   Alan is the leader of a small cult movement in Australia. His small but devoted group of followers live with him at a compound in the wilderness somewhere, and love him and his teachings. His teachings center around the same old re-hashed emotionally driven new-age crap-ola you would expect, but his laid back nature and unassuming demeanor lower your defenses. Alan rolled a 12 on charisma, and it shows.

   And his followers are very emotionally convinced that he is who he says he is. In an interview when one guy is asked who Alan is to them, he breaks down in tears within a matter of seconds. Eerily enough, these seem to be normal people. They don't look crazy at all, and they don't seem deficient in any way.

   Just prior to this I happened to read an article from the Christian Post on my man John Piper. All this made me marvel at the grace of God for keeping me in his good graces.

   Not the thing you might expect to hear from me while I'm currently in the field doing missions stuff, but it's true. The only reason I'm still a Christian is because God is "..able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy." (Jude 1:24 ESV)

   The logical conclusion for me is that since I am so reliant on God for just keeping me in the ring, how much more dependent am I for the strength to fight?

God help me [literally]!

Update: Wholesomeness

   Palmerston North is my new destination for the next two weeks. Here I'm currently being thrown in head first into ministry at the university. It's a happy change of pace from the last week I spent in Hamilton, though it was much needed rest. And it helped me pace myself while I recovered from initial culture shock and the time difference. I was starting to get little anxious to get to work, but these upcoming weeks seem like they are going to be packed with people, places, ministry styles and philosophies that I have yet to experience.


   Pacing is something that I definitely got a dose of from the week I spent living in Sione's house with his family. Sione is a ministry director with the Missions org. that I'm going to be interning at. He's probably going to be the main person that I'm going to report to on a regular basis. After spending a week with his family, I'm glad about it. The way he leads his home along side his wife Janice is inspiring. I was there for a solid week, and from what I can tell there is relatively little conflict, and a great amount of harmony and communication within the household.


   It was staggering how wholesome it was, like, in a non-american-middle-class-suburban way.

Well that's it for a quick update. I'll be back later this week for more.

Don't forget about the upper right corner of the blog!

Things have been a little non-stop since I got here in NZ, so forgive me for not updating everyone sooner.

After spending a few days in Auckland, I caught a bus down to Hamilton. This is where I'll be doing most of my living and ministering eventually, but first I get to roam around the other bases of operation ISM has here on the North Island.

Right now I'm still adjusting my internal clock, acclimating to the culture and kind of taking things in. Although I'm really anxious to get to work, right now is purely observation time.

Here is a picture of Auckland:

I made it!

The flight over was long but not so bad. I had a row all to myself and got a few hours of sleep in. This place feels like Hawaii and California all mashed together, so it doesn't feel too far from home. This certainly isn't the worst culture shock I've ever had. I only have trouble with the way people drive on the wrong side of the road here. There are also two buttons on toilets. They also talk funny..

All kidding aside, The past few hours here have been relaxing.
Look for more updates in a couple of days.

I thought I would quote a little Matthew Henry for you guys.
Commentary on Romans 8:24:

"Our hapiness is not in present possession: We are saved by hope. Our reward is out of sight. Those that will deal with God must deal upon trust. Faith respects the promise, hope the thing promised. Faith is the evidence, hope the expectation, of things not seen. Faith is the mother of hope. We do with patience wait. In hoping for this glory we have need of patience. Our way is rough and long, though he seems to tarry, it becomes us to wait for him."

~ Gotta love that Matthew Henry. 

Coffee-Muggin' It

On the 15th of April, and at around 10 PM a plane will gracefully lift off the runway at SFO, embarking upon an abnormally long twelve-ish hour long flight that will take me to my destination.

For a while there I honestly didn't know whether I would be able to say that with confidence. Sure I was hoping I would make it there before the beginning of the next semester, but I never really knew for sure.

Honestly, I was surprised.

I don't think there is ever any particular outcome that I can put much hope into outside of the big picture (taking into consideration of exceptions). Although I know the reality of a certain hope will come to pass, my faith in it isn't perfect, but the big picture is the one that I should put all of my imperfect faith in.

Jesus is the big picture. He's the one that all my faith should spring from. Sussing out whether I should go somewhere, or do any one thing should always be subservient to the one great Object of Faith.

I didn't want to quote the coffee-mug verse of Hebrews 11:1, but it really does illustrate my point. The writer of Hebrews goes on in the chapter to explain that by faith many have obtained blessings, and sufferings. And the point of Hebrews as a book is to exalt Jesus as the end-all be-all object of faith that is better than all other things.

So God help me have faith in you.

Who's Trust is the Lord Anyway?

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose trust is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
(Jeremiah 17:7-8 ESV)

I love this passage so much right now, especially verse 7.

In the context, Jeremiah is preaching to a people who put their trust in (what they believe is) the fact that God would never bring judgement on Jerusalem. God's holy city, and the jewel of what remained of the southern kingdom at this point would never fall out of the graces of God, by their interpretation.
What's understandable is that if you take a quick look at scripture up to this point, you can understand how they would get that. It was the city of David, and it was promised that his throne would never be without a king.

"And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever."
(2 Samuel 7:16 ESV)

So understanding this passage (along with others) in a certain way would allow you to think that the throne of David will forever stand as it was from David to the end of the ages. That's fair, right?

But Jeremiah's audience (in the face of sin and impending doom) grasped for a theology that allowed them to put trust in some thing, even something that God blessed. This all the while God's promise to David is based on nothing but God. And even that God himself would fulfill this promise in the person of Jesus (unbenounced to even Jeremiah at the time of his preaching).


...I will raise up your offspring after you, who shall come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for my name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.
(2 Samuel 7:12-13 ESV)


The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
(Matthew 1:1 ESV)

and


But of the Son he says,
“Your throne, O God, is forever and ever,
the scepter of uprightness is the scepter of your kingdom.
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
therefore God, your God, has anointed you
with the oil of gladness beyond your companions.”
(Hebrews 1:8-9 ESV)




So to bring this out to a quick application, it's a challenging thing to reflect upon if I'm trusting God in my mission, or for my mission. Is my faith in the character of the God I'm working for, or is it in the work I'm doing to succeed? I hope and pray that my work is not a means to the end, but rather my trust in the God who does it!

God is Faithful

A few days ago, a supporter informed me that they would be giving the needed amount to meet the rest of my Get off the Ground fund.
Very soon I will actually by buying my ticket and shipping off to New Zealand. I will arrive and get situated with a house family and start school in June!

Here is what I want any of my Folsom supporters to do:
I am being commissioned this weekend at Lakeside church during the 10 o'clock service. Please come by and pray together with me and the rest of the lakeside missionaries going out this month. It would mean a lot if you did!

I thank God again for all that he's done through you and will do through all of your gifts and prayers. And I really so mean that.

Thanks so much and I hope to see all of you this Sunday!

Punch-Dance Happy

Another update on my fundraising:

Only 300 to go!

A supporter just dropped 500 in my term partner account, no less than an hour ago.

Super happy right now. Feel free to punch-dance to some Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young along with me.

Keep praying for funds to come in, I also need a new computer, mine broke a month ago. Check out the upper right corner of this blog if you want to help out on my mission. 

Peace!

Puritanical!

A good friend bought me a one volume Matthew Henry commentary. By the size of it you can barely tell how they fit that many page between two covers. Almost 2,000 pages in all, it's chock full of biblical, Puritan goodness to satisfy my commentary needs for a while.

"

And Puritans get a bad rap in popular culture for being legalistic, rigid, and cold moralists. Yet for the majority, it could not be further from the truth! His commentary was spoken well of the likes of George Whitefield. One of the leaders of the Great Awakening, known for his passion particularly in speaking. Matthew Henry's commentary also had influence on William Cowper's hymns.

If you stop and think about what a contemporary passion of that kind would influence, I think then you might get how excited I am to start ripping into this thing! Puritans had such a vivid passion for the pleasure of God! It's intimidating and inspiring at the same time.


Support update: 1700 down, 800 to go!
If you would like to support me on my mission, check out the upper right corner of this blog.

TOHMNOT (This One Has My Name On It): Genesis

So how did I come up with the idea that going halfway around the world to tell people about Jesus would be a good idea for me? It might surprise you that it wasn't through fruit of some profound conviction that was the result of months of study and devotion. It might also surprise you that it wasn't some compelling call from God in an audible voice, commanding me to go forth and preach the gospel in a far off land.

The call of God for me to go into missions was more like an extension of passions that God rooted in my heart. Like I've mentioned before on here; I fantasized about smuggling bibles into China when I was in kindergarten, but I'm positive I didn't really know what that meant. That mostly came out of a sense of it being not fair that Christians in China had limited access to the bible.

So what was it about missions particularly that I seem to lean toward?

It might have started as just a meditation that people all over the world don't have in any sense of true peace, and worse; that the presence of the gospel in many of these places was either non-existent, utterly culturally illiterate, or extremely small. Ultimately, the God of the bible isn't getting the attention he deserves.

From there, it evolved into a biblical mandate. God has a people in every nation that have their names written in the Lamb's Book of Life from before the foundation of the world, and it's our pleasure to be the mean by which the gospel is delivered to them.

Support Update!

God is good and he provides! I only have about 1k left to raise until I arrive at my goal!

Playing Bass and Finding a Place

   Last weekend I served on the worship team for what might be the last time in a long while.

It was a pretty fun weekend musically, and I really enjoyed serving my home church one last time in this way. I hope it's not the last, but I know that I will be moving on to other things in other places.
   As small as it seems, this has been a main focus in my life for the last 3 years. I would like to think I've grown as an artist a little, since my time off the mission field. The worship arts culture at my home church was in the middle of a sort of mini renascence by the time I got back in '09. Certain influential people and visions they cast resonated with many, me included. As a result this gave me a new perspective on culture, expression, and the pursuit of excellence in the church. This has deepened my worldview to large degree.
   I think I know a few things that helps me find out my ultimate calling (however specific or general that happens to be) to know that God gives you good gifts, holy passions, and desires not just as an end unto themselves. He uses the things he puts and grows in you. You wouldn't expect to be a teacher if you had a strong desire, passion, and skill to be a lawyer. I think it's the same thing to a large degree.
   I have no idea what my weird mix of passions and skills will yield in Christ, but I do know that all I posses to do is to the end that he has for me. All that by his growing, cultivating grace that has been at work in me for years.
   If you resonate with this, and would like to know what this blog is all about click here. If you would like to help out financially after that, check out the upper right corner of the blog.

Peace.

Funds are a raising

So I'm pretty sure I'm around $1100 into my initial fundraising goal. All the numbers haven't come in yet from the office, but from my estimate, that is where I am. All this has come in in about a month. At this pace I'll meet my goal of $2500 in no time.

God is doing this. This has probably been the most rewarding fundraising experience I've ever had. Over and over God is re-affirming that this is a worthy mission. I'm beginning to stop asking in my heart if I should go, but rather how fast I should be going. This has been a fundamental shift for me in terms of my mission.

In other news, I've been reading C. H. Spurgeon. I have this huge one volume selected books and sermons. I bought it one day when I was still working at that Christian book store. I got it 30% off plus I think it was on sale, but I never really opened it up. I'm only about fifty pages into his autobiography, and I find his character both a kindred spirit and a Godly example to aspire to.

By my age he was already preaching to his own congregation, but when he talks about his desire to do the ministry of God my heart sings along with him! I think I'm going to get a lot from the rest of the collection, and this is going to help me prepare spiritually for the ministry I'm going into.

Remember! If you want to invest in me and the work God is doing in/through me, please show your support via the directions in the upper right corner.

What this blog is all about

Skits and Starving Ethiopians

So I've been thinking lately. I've been doing the missions thing for a while, and the stories that most people seem impressed by are the ones where I am in a developing nation feeding street kids. And I have to admit, sometimes they are the most fun to tell.

They act really impressed that I would go out of my way to bandage lepers and feed starving children, when now-a-days it's more sexy to do that, than preach on a street corner.

I remember when I was doing training with YWAM; the lecture period where we all learned gospel skits was (at least for me) the most painful. We would be going to a foreign country where non of us would be able to speak the language, and this was probably the closest thing any of us could get to personally communicating the gospel message. Even though they feel excruciatingly corny.

Thinking back; those skits were probably the closest thing to pure missions work we got. What you see in the first great missionary push ever were three things (mainly):

1. Gospel preaching

2. Church planting

3. Miracles and stuff

Now I'm not saying that mercy ministry is bad, but I think I might be able to make the case that it's just a function of the established church. It might not even be true missions in the purest sense of the word. 

What I mean is that unless giving food to a starving Ethiopian is accompanied with proclamation of the gospel, it's not. I mean, what is more important?

What does it profit a starving Ethiopian if he gains education and clean drinking water but his soul is forfeit? 

Salt

You know what I love? I love when God does things that make me giddy.

Like, knots at the top of your throat, do a punch dance in the middle of the room giddy.

I don't have any numbers at all yet, but people are saying yes to supporting me short and long-term. Almost everyone I've talked to has said yes. That blows my mind.

And this isn't because I get to go to New Zealand completely funded in no time. But it means that people believe in the mission I'm doing.

Going to New Zealand isn't sexy as a missionary field. So I will take all the confirmation I can get.

One of my supporters actually took $100 out of his wallet and handed it to me. It blew me away.
Part of why he said he wanted to support me was because of how his son looks up to me and talks about me. For a long time I wondered if I was even worth my weight in salt. God has shown me that I am, in Him.