Frustrations and Fruitions

   I realize that leaving you guys depressed from my last post was probably a mean thing to do. I am not completely down in the dumps, but I am still struggling with some culture shock. So for today's update I will give you _ reasons why I'm frustrated with kiwi culture, Ministry updates, and school progress.

Reason 1: Bare feet.

   This first reason isn't as much of a frustration as it is a curiosity. People don't always wear shoes. I brush it off half the time as "it's cultural" in my head, but I really don't get why you see people all the time walking around with no shoes on. It really confuses me. This is a developed nation, footwear is relatively inexpensive, you can avoid all sorts of nasty injuries and parasites just by wearing a pair of simple sandals on your feet. But to people here listen to reason? Not all of the time. 

Reason 2: Assumptions.
   This is a big one. People often times assume that you are on the same page as everyone, even though you may have just walked in through the door, know basically no-one, and understand about half of the funny kiwi-speak they are using (the accent). For example; I just got a call from my new boss, letting me know that my new co-workers are not okay with me changing around the way they do things. Fair enough, but the thing is no one told me anything about any particular way of doing anything. So I'm left feeling like a big American oaf who arrogantly thinks his way of doing things is the best. Here I go reinforcing negative stereotypes about my fellow countrymen abroad. Sorry guys!

Reason 3: ♪Getting to know... some people ♪ 

   People here are, on the whole, hard to get to know. They are very friendly and cordial up-front, but there is this wall that you hit with a lot of people. Trying to cross over from "new guy" to "friend" is like trying to jump the grand canyon with a pogo-stick. Well maybe no that bad, but it's still pretty bad. I've been here maybe 4 months, and I have about 2 friends that I really see on at least a weekly basis, and half of them are non-nationals. 

Ok, that's enough of me complaining. Onward to the ministry updates.

When I last left you guys I felt discouraged, disoriented, and disheartened about my mission here. I may have been listening to too much of The Cure, because these past few weeks I have actually been building relationships with international students. The very ministry focus of ISM! Go figure!

This has really encouraged me when I realize that am actually doing one or two things that are on task.


Alright everyone, that's a blog.

P.S.: To any Kiwi's reading this update, not all of those complaints are intended to be 100% serious. I really do love all of you guys.

Peace!

The State of Things

   First of all, I apologize for keeping everyone in the dark for so long. I know all of you have invested in me in some form or an other, and not giving you a progress report is a little negligent on my part.

   Part of the reason why it's been hard to get an update out is because I was struggling on what to say.  I was trying to find a way of saying "things aren't going great" in a way that wouldn't make me look bad. While God has blessed me with more permanent housing, a one year visa that I can work on, and cool classmates and church support here, things have been more or less frustrating for me.

   For about the last month I've been depressed and frustrated. I've been struggling about what my exact purpose is here, and how to do whatever job I am here for. Add to that a little culture shock and some things I am actually seeing a counselor for, and the constant rain, and you have a sad Josh. Part of me was in denial that I am actually having a hard time melding into Kiwi culture. I thought:

"No way man! I've been to other places that are a lot more extreme, for a longer period than I've been here already, and still it took at least six months for me to get a little home sick!" 

   I actually didn't want to let any of you, my supporters, know that I'm seeing a counselor for personal reasons because it would make me look less like a holy cultural missionary than I wanted to look. Which is a stupid idea really, because I didn't budget for a counselor at all. 

   Visa stuff took longer (and more expensive-er) too, which threw my budget off even more, and now I have about 50 dollars in my bank account after paying rent this week. 

   Honestly the worst thing is being so far away from the church community that I grew to love so much more over the past three years. I loved you all so much, I would go to like 3 services a weekend some times just so I could say hello to more of you. 

   So now this is my repentance post for being a block-head and not letting you know how I was really doing. I hope all of you can find it in your hearts to see me as a human being. 

Yours truly,

   Joshua